I wrote this 11 days ago as I was sitting on a large rock in the Arroyo. An hour earlier I had reached a breaking point. Stress over took my body... I had to get away! I needed to decompress FAST. I was overwhelmed from noise, tension and sadness. I didn't want to lash out and say something I would regret.
Our 1904 home has always been a place of quiet and solitude...except for the last twelve weeks. We are nearing the completion of a major home improvement project. In June it all began. While I was in Belgium. My husband had the old (asbestos) siding professionally removed. The new siding is on, wood trim has been sanded and as of 2 days ago the painting finally began. Constant construction six days a week, from 7:30am till 6:00pm.
I knew the constant noise would be a problem for me, especially when it came time to write. I bought noise canceling headphones, wrote notes to myself, dictated on my phone... But in the end I would need to be on my home office computer. I needed to see multiple images at once and reference prior writing (taking my desk top computer to the STUDIO was not an option). I had two magazine articles to complete, workshop to prep for, show to enter, family needing time... When I sat down to write I heard ladders being put in placed against the wall, just 5 feet from my desk. When the power sanders began it sounded like an orchestra of jackhammers. A new form of torture!
The problem wasn't the guys working. Mike, Rudolfo and Hector are some of the hardest working, respectable, conscientious people I know. So where does the fault lie? It's no ones fault. This world is a stressful place for you and for me. We are constantly dealing with deadlines, world and national crisis, health issues, job and family stress.
How do you handle stress? Is it healthy OR destructive? Some feel justified to use hateful words and actions when stressed. I walk until I can find peace in my soul, clear my head, burn off steam and get a grasp on my feeling (anger, sorry, stress...). Usually a 4 mile walk does the trick but it can take many, many more. Thankfully I live in a area where I can walk for miles. Along the Arroyo I can find majestic oak trees, eucalyptus, birds, beautiful craftsman homes and watch heavenly light filter through the trees. These sights restore my soul and I'm ready to turn around and walk home.
"I’m am weary, I know not why. At these moments I walk further and listen to my heart. Into the Arroyo I go...I seek the sights, sounds and smells that restore my soul. I cannot fix cruelty of mankind, ease suffering or turn back the clock. I can only move forward. I walk until my soul is stilled and I’m strengthened for another day...I walk into the Arroyo."
I wish you peace,