During his final months I was able to pour out my love and gratitude on him...this was nothing new. He always knew I loved and adored him. Thankfully we lived close to each other. In the final months I often sat at his feet or beside his bed. I needed to understand what was happening to him and his body...as if knowing would allow me to help him along the way. I learned a lot about dying...it's a road to be walked alone. I found two books very helpful. "Gone From My Sight" by Barbara Karnes and "Final Gifts" by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley.
My Dad lived a good life and he’s lived it his way. He retired in his early 50’s. Had more adventures than most people dream of. He was generous and we enjoyed many adventures with him. We’ve flown in his hot air balloons, sailed in his boats, backpacked and hiked the High Sierras, rode horses & motorcycles, snow skied & snowmobiled, mountain biked, travel to distant lands…and we shared more cookies and ice cream than you’d ever imagine. He had a sweet tooth!
Recently I was given a picture of my dad. I put our childhood pictures
together and noticed something. Seeing a little bit of me in his face brings me comfort. It reminds me that from the beginning he has been alive in me and that he isn't completely gone. A piece of him lives on, in me. Not only through his likeness but in my love of art, the outdoors, hiking...and cookies!
Even in my sadness I feel blessed.
Dear Friends, Your emails and messages have been overwhelming. Thank you for all the kind words, understanding and comfort. My grief is lessened in knowing I am not alone. Thank you my friends.