Sunday, August 10, 2014

Farewell to Dad

You may of noticed I've been posting less lately. To say I've been through a rough patch would be an understatement. On Father's Day my step-dad was hospitalized and the diagnosis was aggressive cancer. A few day later I left to teach a workshop in WI, returned home to teach another workshop in Santa Barbara, then Sketchbook Skool... In between each workshop I was spending time with dad and trying to share meaningful final hours with him.

The life of a step-child or step-parent has many pitfalls and we experienced our share. But it's the love we shared and the memories we cherished that tied us together (wounds and all). I love him and he loved me. Yesterday was his memorial and I know he would of been proud of us "his girls".
 

Remembering Dad...was written by my sister Angie. He had a sense of humor as you will see below.

 Jere Young was born in Harrisburg, PA, May 5, 1934. He was drafted into the U.S. Army kicking and screaming, but not to sound too clich, serving in the military was one of his most worthwhile life experiences (barring the food). From his earliest days Jere was a picky eater. After being drafted by the Army, his weight loss accelerated because the mess halls rarely served food Jere

liked. You might wonder how he has sustained himself all these 80 years. It's simple, Burgers, Oreos, Cheez-It's and Spam (must be an Army thing), but to his dying day, he took pride in the fact that he never once ate a taco. When he first came to California he was a dance instructor at Arthur Murrays where he met his one and only wife. On February 10, 1962, he married La Verne Ann Daugherty (Annie). Back when the Ventura County Star was called the Star Free Press, they employed Jere in their sales department, and later he became a freelance writer for the Star. He was the Marketing Director for Centerpoint Mall in Oxnard and a Service Writer at Woodland Hills Honda. Jere's likes: bluegrass music, playing drums with the Ventura County Concert Band, driving his '73 Mustang and riding his Goldwing motorcycle with sidecar. Jere's dislikes: vegetables and yard work.

Life Lesson (in his words):
Never play cards with someone named Lucky. Bet on the gray horse. Always be on time. Never let your tank get below quarter full. The truth will set you free. I am certainly not a victim; I am where I have chosen to be. Treat elders with respect. Loving your children is an all-consuming emotion and wonderful to experience. Remember, whining is completely non-productive but revenge and vilification have some wonderful benefits, however fleeting. Yes, bad things CAN happen to good people.

I have rarely regretted keeping quiet. If you have an ace, play it. A life of LOVE and SERVICE trumps all.


A gun in the hand beats an operator on the phone. Carrying a grudge is vastly overrated. It isn't my place, any more, to point out anyone's shortcomings. I can't change anyone. Acceptance. Be of service to others for fun and for free. Take responsibility for your actions. Have a pet so you don't have to think about yourself ALL the time. To love someone means to wish them no harm. Put a smile on your face.


26 comments:

  1. So sorry for the loss of your step-father Brenda. May you sense God's loving tender arms carrying you and may the pain diminish while the warm and happy memories increase.

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  2. Thank you for sharing your memories, Brenda. He sounds like a character, and a wonderful man. I am so sorry for your loss.

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    1. P.S. I thought I was going to cry, but had to laugh, too.

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    2. I know what you mean...Dad, had that effect on me too!

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  3. I am so sorry for your loss, Brenda. I lost my dad some years ago and I understand the pain and heartache even if they lived a long, full life. My prayers for you.

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  4. Profound Life Lessons. Thank you for sharing. Hugs.

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  5. Brenda, so sorry. It's so very hard to lose a loved one, so glad you could be with him in his last hours. I hope some time soon you will be able to translate those tears to a nostalgic smile.

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  6. So sorry for your loss, Brenda. Thoughts and prayers to all the family. xo

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  7. So sorry Brenda...even I lost my father four months ago and can understand your feeling of loosing a loved one..if not the most...........take care.

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  8. My heart goes out to you. What a wonderful tribute to your "dad"
    hugs

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  9. This post reminds me that blogs at their best are records of one's life and are a form of journaling. When we are authentic, as you are, we blog about ALL that matters in our lives, like this moving entry about your wonderful and beloved dad. Thank you for sharing with your blog community. We care that you are grieving and I know we all wish we could do something to alleviate the pain you feel. God bless you and your family.

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  10. Brenda, so sorry for your loss. A beautiful (and real) tribute.

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  11. So sorry for your loss, Brenda. Thank you for sharing him and his thoughts with us. Be at peace. Jane W

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  12. Absolutely LOVED your stepdad's "Life's Lessons". It's memories like these that keep loved ones we've lost close to our hearts...and then inner peace will surely come.
    Jane (from Dillman's 2013)

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  13. Your Dad is still a great guy. He will never be gone as long as you keep him in your heart and memory. Mine passed in 1990 at the age of 90 and I still think of him every day.

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  14. I'm so sorry Brenda and I know how hard this is for you. What a great Farewell, and I loved the Life Lessons.

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  15. How nice and meaningful post it is...
    I am so sorry for your loss...
    Big hugs from Istanbul

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  16. It's so hard to lose parents, I still miss my Dad and think of him (and what he'd say) often. My sincerest condolences to you and your family on the loss of your Dad.

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  17. So sorry for your loss, Brenda. He sounds like he was a wonderful person with a great sense of humor, and you will have many memories to share of your time with him.

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  18. Brenda, what a nice tribute to your Dad. His life lessons in his own words made me smile. I'm very sorry for your loss. (My mom's sister married a Daugherty. This is only the second time I've heard the name.)

    With blessings, Susan

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  19. I loved the list of "truths" to live by...I am so sorry for your loss.

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  20. You are such a beautiful, loving and giving person . Of course I don't know you personally but your face, your art and your words convey that to me. Your family is blessed to have you in their lives.

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  21. Dear Brenda - my heart goes out to you and your family at this time. May God comfort you. I will be looking up for all of you. Your tribute to your step -father was beautiful. Take care.

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  22. Sharing like this is amazing, Brenda.
    I am sorry I did not get over to Dillmans when you were in town.
    I had company and a torn meniscus in my right knee.
    That was a terrific tribute and we all loved reading it.
    Thank you so much for sharing your life and your art with us.

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  23. Brenda, I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. What great advice! As sad as life can be at times, there is always this brilliance that shines over the sadness when we just sit back, breathe and look through the blackness for all the light. You are fortunate to have this Eulogy to return to when you need to see the lights. Grief is a strange thing but the flareups of happiness are ok and welcome. Acceptance. Put a smile on your face. Can't beat that advice. XO

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